Knacher Cracker 2015

A slightly longer race report than usual. Despite intense culling, there's just too much I didn't want to leave out!

Before we begin...

A nice day for it!

Cowgirl photographs the Red Arrows. Well of course.

I think this could be a bad hair day.

Cowgirl's friend is, I later learn, riding an ostrich, not a chicken.

She's obviously made of tougher stuff than I am!

But she's overdressed compared to this bunny.

The King has taken the day off from the Dorking MacDonalds where he works now.

"So if I have one knacker in this hand, and one knacker in this hand..."

Let battle commence...

Here they come!

For many pictures, we might as well just have a common caption: "Look at all the crazy people!"

Just to ease you in gently, there's a little wall you have to scramble down first.

Before we left home, Amanda was worried that she'd look silly. There are few occasions when such an outfit would look almost sensible, but this has to be one of them.

You've got to be impressed by the amount of free advertising 118 118 have had out of their silly look!

"She is the marshalling queen, young and sweet, only seventeen..."

Over the top!

He's actually the second person back up the Burford slope, but he's the first one properly dressed so he's winning the moral victory.

Give a man a pink wig and matching accessories and suddenly he thinks he's important!

Last year's piper hasn't thawed out yet, so we have a new one.

[Apply previously mentioned common caption]

Amanda is now in hot pursuit of Santa...

I think it's two ex-blind mice who can now see after laser surgery, and an escaped mental patient who ate the third one. But what do I know?

"Red Leader to Red One: to complete plonker formation!"

Batman and Robin have formerly defeated the Joker, the Riddler, the Penguin... But the Pirate holds his own!

"Are we nearly there yet?"

I bet he doesn't drink Carling Black Label.

Still plenty more where that came from.

The electrodes in her headset obvioulsy have new batteries.

"Do we have time for this? I think I'm on for a PB!"

As best we can tell, Alan is not actually in fancy dress, he's just wrapped up nice and warm.

First man round the trig point, from which one can admire the beautiful view.

Second guy again, but still the first fancy-dresser.

As the Duke of Wellington said, "I don't know what they do to the enemy, but by God they frighten me!"

After much puzzlement, I have to conclude I have no idea whatsoever what that thing on her head is.

Hang on to your hats! Note the slight soft-focus effect. This is not some arty homage to Bob Guccione and cheesy 70s porn, it's fine drizzle on the lens.

I declined. I hope he understood and won't hold it against me.

Big Wally and Little Wally.

The first Viking. (Take two Vikings into the Knacker Cracker?)

You know what I was saying earlier about it being a bad hair day...?

Yep, definitely!

Just what everyone needs: a nice cup of ice water.

Scrooge and Shylock are looking cheerier than usual.

This is the genteel Surrey version of a Vicars and Tarts party – Monks and Maids.

Supersanta is masked to conceal his secret identity. Having his name on his chest kind of blows that...

The Selfie Cowboy rides again!

A little 118 lurrrve. Not enough to actually keep the team together on the course, but every little helps.

Amanda says she had a Welsh dragon on her back, so she qualifies for an honorary place here.


Yes, up the steep muddy slope. Try not to fall over now, you're nearly home.

And there it is, she's cracked her knacker for another year.

Showing off the spoils of victory!

The Vikings do their famous fish dance, although without the fish.

Ah, a nice cup of soup. Just the thing after a hard day's laying waste to Anglo-Saxon villages. All that raping and pillaging really takes its toll.

The Red Arrows come in to land. Dashed good show, chaps, what?

And with that, sanity returns to Box Hill. For now...